Have you ever been in conflicts where you felt that the other person has done wrong to you or a loved one, and it makes you boil the more you think about it?
I was recently in one such emotional ditch. It was a snowball that gathered force over a series of small but recurring incidents, until one incident which became the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Anger washed over me, but it was a situation where I could neither confront nor openly express my disapproval. I could only boil inside. The more I played the incidents in my mind, the more the anger grew and the more bitter I got.
I was not a happy person. People close to me could sense that I was not my usual self and if you came too near you risk getting scorched. It felt horrible. I did not like being like this, but I was holding on to the feeling of self-righteousness, and I wanted others to be convinced that I had been right and the other person had been wrong.
In other words, I was playing the game of victim vs. perpetrator. It felt superior to be the morally-right victim, and in the heat of it I could not see that I was caging myself in suffering.
This is one of my favourite stories about adversities and how we respond to them.
I have shared this numerous times with friends when they are facing challenges, and this week it popped into my mind as I reflected on my own experiences lately.
The story goes like this:
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see.”
Instead of writing an article, I’ve stepped in front of the camera to share a personal story with you.
Believe me, I struggled to do this! I have spoken in front of large audiences before and I did not imagine that I would feel this self-conscious about putting myself on video.
In this video, you will hear a personal story about a moment in my life that left a profound impact on me. Something that happened many years ago and yet still replays in my mind as if it was just yesterday.
These are the moments that define us and provide clues to what we value and what could become our purpose and unique gifts.
You will also hear the 3 reasons why this moment was so powerful.
This is an experiment and I do not know if I will be doing this again for future posts. Let me know if you would like to see more videos or if you prefer that we stick to the writing!
It has been an intense season for me. I have had to navigate and dig into my beliefs and emotions around money and some really deep stuff. It comes with a series of crucial conversations with myself and with the people I care about.
I experienced the highs of having a renewed purpose that is so strong and clear that it makes me tremble, and the lows of crashing from that high into the gulf of disappointment and feelings of hopelessness.
It was all very uncomfortable. I gained a new level of insight and breakthrough each time I emerged from a low, and just as I was riding that wave of celebration and invincibility, a new wave hits and pulls me into another low deeper than the one before.
Layer by layer, my beliefs were challenged and started to crumble. As this happened, layer by layer, my core was revealed to me and a newer me was calling to be reborn.
I have never been into prayers but I started praying this time. I prayed for light, guidance and support.
I have had many conversations over the last month with people who are looking to connect with their purpose and create their ideal work and lifestyle. Though these people are based in different parts of the world and with different backgrounds, I am struck by how there is one common persistent question in almost every one of them.
How do I know if this is my true purpose?
And the underlying fear: What if I move in this direction, and it is not the right one?
This is a critical question which we all face at some point. For many of us, we will face it again and again as we progress in our life journeys.
To help you through this, I am sharing with you the Law of Precession, the knowledge of which has been life-changing and has guided me in many of my deepest transitions.