Every morning, I map out my priorities, activities and commitments for the day. As the day progresses, I get things done and create amazing experiences with people and with my work; always in the flow, energetic, and on top of the game. At the end of the day, I look with satisfaction at my wonderful performance and happily goes to bed on time, ready for another perfect day.
Except… that’s not how it really is.
I get distracted and spend time on Facebook or surfing websites, when I should be getting that long-overdue task done instead.
I make unwise choices in my interactions with people and end up ruffling their feathers and emotions.
I fall victim to the planning fallacy, underestimating the time it takes to complete things, and go to bed with more things left undone than I would have liked.
As if that’s not bad enough, to compound the impact, I would beat myself up internally for these mistakes and shortcomings. And then I get upset with myself for being upset with myself.
Thank you everyone, for your warm response to last week’s article The One Most Important Shift That Will Change Your Life.
It is one of those articles that gave me goosebumps just writing it, because of its deep truth and great potential for transformation, in myself and in all of you out there.
Some of you asked, now what? How to make this shift and where to start?
I would say that you have already started. Awareness is always the first step and I am sure that you are already catching yourself in the moments when you give away your power, either to someone else or to the situation.
This week, we will zoom in to a psychological need that is one of the biggest and most common saboteurs of your relationships and success. This will reinforce what we discussed last week.
I spend a large part of my life waiting; Waiting for conditions to be favourable enough to do something or be someone.
As a student, I was waiting to complete school so as to start earning my own income. When I started working, I was waiting to become older so as to have more credibility and influence. When I progressed in my early adult life, I was waiting to become a mother because I thought that would officially categorise me as a mature adult which would in turn command more respect and, again, influence.
Alas! Now that I am a mother, I realise that my time is demanded in even more areas and I found myself saying that there is not enough time to do the things I want to do.
Again, waiting for the future to make possible the present. Sounds silly, isn’t it?
It turns out that the conditions were never favourable enough, and they never will be unless I make a mental shift in my attitude.
This is one of my favourite months in the year. It is the month where we celebrate the return of spring and sunshine here up north in Finland, and it is the month where I triumphed my biggest ever transition – coming into this world.
I love transitions, and I dread them too.
I love them for the growth and possibilities they open up, the aliveness and richness they offer, the people they bring into my life, and the person they shape me to become.
But when I am in the heat of one, I wonder, what did I sign up for! Oh… the frustrations, confusion, emotions, doubts, fear, risks, responsibilities and difficult decisions.
Do you give of your time to everyone else, leaving only scraps of minutes for yourself?
Becoming a parent has shown me the preciousness of time for myself, and the importance of being deliberate in carving out that time on a daily basis.
This importance was amplified on a recent trip back home to Singapore, where for two months I was either in some kind of gathering, engaged in the company of another person, taking care of Little Hurry, or a combination of these.
I had expected that this would be the nature of such a trip, and as much as I enjoyed spending time with loved ones and amazing people, I was missing spending time with me.
This article is part two of a trilogy. Last week, you read about morning routines, exercising and learning about the world in My 11 Habits for Daily Inspiration – Trilogy Part 1.
Not coincidentally, my favourite moments this week is in one of the habits in today’s article – family time. We celebrated a special occasion by visiting an acquaintance’s restaurant and dining out as a family. I was secretly pleased to have someone else do the cooking instead. The Christmas celebrations have also picked up and we are marking our calendars with Christmas concerts and sing-along’s.