Ah… like an old friend, isn’t it? This part of us that loves comparing ourselves to others. This is something that we all do and one of the things that makes us so human. I wonder if this is an innate tendency that we are born with, or have we acquired it from the society as we grew? Interestingly, we more often ‘compare up’ rather than ‘compare down’. The main benefit for such a behaviour is that it serves as a benchmark for our growth and evolution. Otherwise, for the most part, it dampens our sense of worthiness.
This week’s article is a longer one as it touches on a few related topics that I’m sure many of you would identify with.
The two things that you likely compare most frequently are possessions (what they have) and achievements (what they do). I used to experience jealousy whenever I compare myself to others whom I regard as being better off. Thankfully, that jealousy has subsided and healthier feelings of envy or admiration have taken its place instead. I must admit that they are regular visitors in my mind more often than I would like to! Oh… look at that dream wedding that she just had; or that successful business that is generating a remarkable income; or that perfect body that looks good in any attire; or that beautiful house by the sea that they live in… oh how I wish… and the list goes on. Can you identify with these voices too?
The third thing that we compare, to a lesser degree, is attitude and personality (who they are).
This is an article for Huffington Post which never got published.
The founder of Huffington Post and a woman I greatly admire, Arianna Huffington, was in town last month for a business event. I had been reading her book Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder; and Mr Hurry decided that he would bring my book for her to autograph. When I got the book back, it was autographed and tucked between the pages was her business card.
“Now you are one connection away from your author”, he grinned. “Write to her.”
“But….” My mind immediately responded with a thousand reasons why I should not write to her.
“What do I say?”
“What do I have to offer that would be of value to her?”
“She is a busy and influential person, she must get tons of emails each day.”
Last week we talked about the 3 words to keep out of your conversations. How did your practice go? Were there any other words which you noticed yourself using more than needed?
If there are words to use less of, what then shall we use more of? Here are three phrases which, when expressed sincerely, can heal your relationships. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of sincerity; how we say something often has a greater impact than what we say. A blind substitution of words would not work because it requires a shift in your attitude and even a good dose of humility.
I want to celebrate you for who you are, and this site is dedicated to you.
You, for your beauty and imperfections.
You, for your laughter and your tears.
You, for your brilliant mind and rich emotions.
You, for your muscles and your fats.
You, for your dreams and your fears.
You, for the days when you shine and the days when you retreat.
You, for your productivity and your playfulness.
You, for your work and your love.
You, for the precious little girl and the passionate woman within.
You, for your springs, summers, autumns, and winters.
You, just as you are.
May you see and celebrate all that makes you Woman.
May you be kind to yourself as you strive to thrive in this masculine society that we live in today.
May you be surrounded by wonderful people with whom you blossom.
May you be healthy, fit and strong.
May you be happy.