How to Identify Your Values and Use Them to Create More Success and Happiness

How to Identify Your Values and Use Them to Create More Success and Happiness

Have you ever been at a crossroad in your life and found it difficult to choose which direction to focus on?

Or have you had too many things on your plate and could not decide on what to prioritise?

How did you eventually decide, and what did you learn about yourself in the process?

I have those moments all the time. Some are smaller daily matters, some are turning points in life. Most of the time, I have not been mindful and end up spending more time hanging around the decision – either procrastinating, or jumping too fast into it and then having to re-decide because of doubts or regrets after the jump.

What if you are able to meet such moments with clarity and confidence? How much time and unnecessary worries would it save you? How much more energy would it bring you as you work towards your dreams and goals?

The door to your soul’s clarity and confidence can be accessed by a few keys, one of which is knowing your values. Knowing your values means being clear on these: what is important to you? What are you naturally motivated by? What drives your emotions, behaviour and decisions?

With clarity, comes focus. With focus, things get done faster. When things get done, the momentum inspires and springs you into a cycle of productivity and confidence.

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How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Ah… like an old friend, isn’t it? This part of us that loves comparing ourselves to others. This is something that we all do and one of the things that makes us so human. I wonder if this is an innate tendency that we are born with, or have we acquired it from the society as we grew? Interestingly, we more often ‘compare up’ rather than ‘compare down’. The main benefit for such a behaviour is that it serves as a benchmark for our growth and evolution. Otherwise, for the most part, it dampens our sense of worthiness.

This week’s article is a longer one as it touches on a few related topics that I’m sure many of you would identify with.

The two things that you likely compare most frequently are possessions (what they have) and achievements (what they do). I used to experience jealousy whenever I compare myself to others whom I regard as being better off. Thankfully, that jealousy has subsided and healthier feelings of envy or admiration have taken its place instead. I must admit that they are regular visitors in my mind more often than I would like to! Oh… look at that dream wedding that she just had; or that successful business that is generating a remarkable income; or that perfect body that looks good in any attire; or that beautiful house by the sea that they live in… oh how I wish… and the list goes on. Can you identify with these voices too?

The third thing that we compare, to a lesser degree, is attitude and personality (who they are).

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An (Embarrassing) Confession

An (Embarrassing) Confession

I have a confession to make.

A month ago, I had an epiphany about my calling. Sounds serious, doesn’t it! I have always been passionate about relationships and knew that I wanted to do something related to this topic. I believe that the quality of our relationships directly influences all other areas of our lives, and I also believe that the context of a relationship provides us with the most intimate opportunities for our personal and spiritual growth. I wish to see people in rich and fulfilling relationships which bring out the best in them. That night when the epiphany hit, it became clear that I want to help them improve their communication so as to build, strengthen and heal relationships.

I was delirious! I woke Mr Hurry (the hubby) up and proclaimed my world-saving plans to him. He thought he was dreaming. I announced to my friends around the world, “I have found my calling!” and they were all excited for me, nodding in approval at the necessity of that work. I started mapping out ideas and visualised myself to be the next John Gottman, Gary Chapman, or Bill and Pam Farrel. I decided that I should now channel all sources towards manifesting that and refocused my blog to that sole purpose. I wrote a message to all my blog readers where I gushed determinedly about this new focus. You might even have noticed the new title ‘You Can’t Hurry Love’ and wonder what Huimin is up to.

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Are you so busy that you wish you have more time?

Are you so busy that you wish you have more time?

Lately, I find myself in conversations where this topic kept popping up, and it seems to be getting more and more common. My lunch dates or clients sighed as they spoke about how busy work is keeping them, to the extent that their personal well-being is being compromised. These are people who are doing great work and they tend to be ambitious entrepreneurs, leaders in companies, or knowledge professionals.

Interestingly, there are many things which they share in common, including: feeling stressed about the neverending list of to-do’s and projects; wishing to have more work-life balance, more sleep, more time to read or to engage in a creative activity; needing a self-organising system or new habits; and looking forward to a break. Some of them are simply just overwhelmed and reacting to whatever screams the loudest or nearest.

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