Last week we talked about the 3 words to keep out of your conversations. How did your practice go? Were there any other words which you noticed yourself using more than needed?
If there are words to use less of, what then shall we use more of? Here are three phrases which, when expressed sincerely, can heal your relationships. I can’t emphasize enough the importance of sincerity; how we say something often has a greater impact than what we say. A blind substitution of words would not work because it requires a shift in your attitude and even a good dose of humility.
When it comes to communication, more is not necessarily better. More of the wrong words create misunderstandings and deepen conflicts instead. Here are three such words which are commonly used, and what you can replace them with.
“He doesn’t really care”
“She is being unreasonable”
“I can’t talk to him about certain issues”
“I don’t understand her”
These are some common complaints from couples about talking to their partners. It can be frustrating especially if you feel that you are trying hard and your partner is not cooperating. You might even be wondering if the situation will ever change.
Here’s the good news. There is one thing that anyone can do and it will transform your relationship.
The past year has been eventful. The highlight is a wonderful baby boy whom we welcomed to the family and life has been different since. Now that we have settled into a nice rhythm, I am back to writing, focusing specifically on how to build, strengthen and heal relationships, particularly through communication.
A few days ago I told my husband something which left him baffled. I had this little hypothesis in my head that being with me has brought more pain rather than joy into his life and I wanted to check the validity of that thought. This was after I had gone through an emotional phase which I now attribute to hormones and stress, and that thought had emerged during an evening of reflection.
What was the story that brewed in my mind? Before we got together, he was a single man and could freely steer his life, career and dreams in whatever direction he wishes. Now that it is a shared life, there are more things for him to consider, sacrifices to make, expectations to manage, and a woman to handle. He had signed up for a package which also includes a monthly dose of emotional spells that show up like clockwork. Being the patient, thoughtful and solution-oriented person he is, he would take it upon himself to resolve the crisis that his woman seems to be going through, which is ironically being further expressed because of the safe space that he provides.
If you have ever been in a relationship, you would likely have gone through a similar experience and realised that this ‘suffering’ is part of the deal.